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CLARITY

My Hands Show Me Clarity

Recently I read something about how our words show kindness, our minds show truth, our ears show compassion, our hearts show love, and our hands show clarity. While all of these are true, I find the idea of my hands showing clarity to be most intriguing.

Upon reflection, I realize that MY hands are vital to my everything in life. As a dental hygienist, my hands are my source of identity from a professional standpoint. They allow me to make a living and help people achieve dental health.

Thinking about it, I realize that my hands have brought me clarity for most of my life by being able to write my feelings. As a child, I wrote in journals. Now, as an adult, I have decided to start a blog after I wrote an autobiographical piece for a recent class I took at Elizabethtown College because writing that paper felt less like an assignment and more like therapy or a refreshing cleansing.

Today my hands are showing me a clear path toward discovering that moments matter, life is extraordinary, and discovering how to find extraordinary moments in ordinary days is a gift. Join me as I journey…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more.

The Lonely Bird

Lonely Bird

Soaring and gliding.

The air gives direction.

Pushes forward, pushes back.

The air is thin.

Breathe.

Release the fight.

Glide.

The ‘H’ Word

Is it Hate?

This morning I worked out at home and did a virtual spin class with an instructor named Mike who is from California. He ended his class with a little thought about hate, which made me start thinking about the difference between what we say we hate, what we think we hate, and what really hate.

When I was a kid, I knew my mom did not like the word “hate” and treated it almost like a curse word. Despite her aversion to the word, I still said it often. I said I hated liver & onions, cleaning the bathroom, and running the mile in school. Although not often because of my mom, I’m sure that I also said I hated people when I was angry.

As an adult, I still say ‘hate’, but sparingly, especially about people. But I think it flies out of my mouth now and then, unfortunately. I definitely say it about things like grocery shopping and the smell of sweaty sneaker, but rarely about a person. But after listening to Mike this morning, I am thinking that not only do I think we overuse the word, but also let the thought of hate take too much of our precious time.

Here is why:

The only way that we can truly hate something is if we know either one of two things about it/them, which is all about it/them or just a small part. Interesting, right? Think about that for a moment. Think about what you think you hate. Now ask yourself how much you know about it/them.

If we know all and feel that way, hate may be justified for us. If we only know a small part, what is keep us from learning more? Perhaps we close ourselves to more information because we are afraid that what we learn could prove us wrong. Another possibility is that we could be more afraid of our feelings changing, meaning the change within ourselves. Change it scary!

Whether or not we know everything or just a small part, why do we even let hate occupy space in our minds? We shouldn’t because that hate space is taking up space that could be occupied by more positive feelings such as love, happiness, and acceptance. Although that is easier said than done, just being exposed to Mike’s thoughts today made me think about how hate is not worth the energy I sometimes allow it to use of me. Perhaps my thoughts shared with you will help you find ways to shift some energy away from hateful thoughts as well.

That would certainly be….

-Extraordinary

Getting to Know You

Lately, I have been thinking about something: The fact that empathy seems to be missing in our daily interactions. My thoughts consumed me more than usual today as I constructed these words on social media:

“Lately I’ve been thinking about the lack of empathy, kindness, compassion, truth, and personal connections within relationships. Whether personal or professional, do you…

Take time to know more about someone before you decided if you ‘like’ them?
Ask yourself how YOU would feel in their position?
Try to think of ways to help them?
Listen TRULY to their thoughts & concerns?
Try to find common ground?
Care?

Perhaps our communities would be more pleasant, positive, and productive if we honestly answered those questions and found ways to be better people!”

I didn’t just write this post to see how many likes it would get, but rather because I wanted an outlet for my thoughts and hoped that someone might read it and think about their own answers. I wondered if someone who read it and thought about their answers might decide that they might want to get to know someone better, like a neighbor, co-worker, or new acquaintance.

How do we get to know someone in this digital age where social media posts, snapchats, and texts have replaced true conversation? When was the last time we had a true conversation with someone outside of my family beyond a Facebook comment or social media reaction? I have got to believe that we need to find a balance between convenience and connection. We need to get to know each other again, know what makes us act the way we do so we can better relate to each other and understand our quirks and flaws, not just the positive qualities. If we take the time for each other, we might be more tolerant of each other during the challenging times.

All of this starts with self-reflection and willingness to think beyond our own lives and experiences.

Remember the old saying, “You don’t know someone’s journey unless you have walked in their shoes”? While I agree with it, I do not necessarily think that you have to experience what someone else has to be able to care, listen, and be kind. I also truly believe that people with whom we have most conflict are often the people who deserve more of our time to try to understand why the conflict is occurring because it is too easy to just say that you don’t mesh or the relationship or connection isn’t working.

While I wish I had the solution for the problem of lack of connection, I do think that if we care, we can make strides toward less disconnect and more understanding of each other.

Starting tomorrow, maybe we can commit to having a personal conversation with someone, anyone with whom we see regularly. Instead of saying ‘How are you today?”, maybe try “What has been the best part of your day?”.

Eventually, that kind of conversation may move toward someone with whom we have not ‘liked’ or felt comfortable connecting with either personally or professionally. That kind of conversation is most difficult yet rewarding. If we can find common ground with such a person, imagine what WE gain!

-Extraordinary